Gorgeous Nightmare
by DeadKings
Summary: Marauder era: Sirius Black managed to start some less that flattering rumours about his team mate and takes it upon himself to help her get revenge on all those who gave her hell over the last 7 years. SB/OC
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So...new story :) This wasn't the one I was planning on starting but it kind of attacked me in the middle of the night. Inspired by the Escape the Fate song and the works of _xyellowconverse_**.

Gorgeous Nightmare

1. 

I groaned as threw my arm over my face to shield my eyes from the light, rolling over in what I had thought was my double bed at home, only to crash to the dormitory floor.

'_Fuck_' I cursed, untangling myself from the bed sheets and throwing them haphazardly back onto the bed. It was a bad omen, I was sure of it.

'Jinx? That you?'

See? I was right. Bad omens follow me around. I would never get back to sleep now.

'Yeah Lily – fell out of bed again.'

My red haired friend grinned sleepily and I mentally noted that she was blessed that James Potter was nowhere to be seen because it was the kind of grin that would see him in a cold shower until he was thirty – it was the side of Lily that none but her dorm mates knew. Me and her were called The Virgin Whores because you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in the castle with dirtier minds than me and the new head girl but no one quite knew just how sick we could get when we wanted to. I had no doubts that some of the things we said could even see the Marauders squirming uncomfortably.

'You've got to stop with these dreams honey, they're going to kill you.'

I threw my pillow across the room, laughing as her slow reactions saw her smacked square in the face. Within minutes it had broken into full-scale warfare and Hogwarts new Head boy came barging into the dorm thinking that we were being attacked.

The scene before him was one that I was sure his wet dreams were made of – a pyjama-clad Lily Evans having a pillow fights with four other girls, none of whole were unattractive.

That was one thing our year wasn't lacking – good looking birds. I think every one of us was at least pretty in one way or another. Lily was just flat out gorgeous; Marlene McKinnon was your sultry, borderline hooker temptress; Alice Prewitt had that warm-hearted charm about her; Mary McDonald was the bubbly, giggling girl that could always be counted on to cheer you up and I was the girl that your mother warned you about.

No, not the one with the big tits and the five inch heels that only wants your money. The other one – the dark, sassy one with a flair for dramatics and a tongue like a knife. I'm a good person, honest! I just... let my mouth run away with me.

And I never sat still. It pissed people off to no end but I just can't sit still.

Still, back to James – he had come running into the dorm expecting bloodshed and gore, only to find feathers flying everywhere and his mates giving him a good ribbing over being overprotective.

Marlene was the first off of her bed when she saw the gathered Marauders.

'Hey Sirius, have a good summer?'

I rolled my eyes behind her back – she's been trying to bed Sirius Black, ladies man of Hogwarts, since third year and she's never managed it yet. I'm pretty sure that the only girls he hasn't so much as snogged were Me, Marlene and Lily.

God only knows what he had against Marlene but Lily was the love of James' life and I was the only girl on the Quidditch team and I doubt James would take kindly to any bad blood between his two beaters.

I saluted the boys tiredly as I tried not to laugh at Marlene trying to chat up Sirius. He was actually paying attention this time – maybe she would finally shag him and be done with it.

I, however, wanted a shower because I didn't much fancy walking down to breakfast with all these feathers in my hair.

It was the first day of my last year at Hogwarts and I found myself near to breaking down in the shower as I realised that I was never going to come back after this. Hogwarts had been my home for so long and to realise that I would never have this place again tore me right up. I don't get teary about much but Hogwarts held such beautiful, special memories for me that walking away from it all would be the hardest thing I would ever face. Still, I had this year to make my mark and to make sure that, even though I was leaving physically, a memory would always remain.

'Hey! Gates! You still in there?'

I frowned at the male voice coming from the dorm as I padded out of the shower wrapped in one of the large burgundy towels.

'Yeah, what is it?'

'I was wondering if I could have a word when you got out...I need a favour!'

I sighed, I couldn't tell who it was though the thick walls of the bathroom but I would put money on it being James wanting me to help Lily fall for him.

'Give me a minute to get dressed then!'

I had never been one for out-and-out rule breaking. I was always the sort of person who would push the boundaries of what was allowed just far enough, with a bright smile and big eyes.

I had played a few pranks in my time but they had been simple.

I had gotten into my fair share of duels but, then again, everyone had.

I had been pulled out of more than a few fisticuffs moments before teachers arrived and I was a right terror when it came to uniform but there was never enough evidence or enough of a reason to punish me.

I was a slightly better than average student and I could breeze ahead in class without drawing excessive attention to my skills like Lily. I could have joined her as top of the class if I could bother to study properly – exams were different, I wasn't about to let my teenage laziness ruin my chance at a good job, but in general I worked with minimal effort.

All in all, I was untouchable.

I tugged my fitted black jeans on before reaching over to find my black shirt only to discover that I hadn't brought it in with me. I swore under my breath as I realised that I would have to walk out of here in only my jeans, multiple belts and red and gold bra – house colours as well, aren't I a proud little Gryffindor.

It was only James though – he only had eyes for Lily and I'd been seen in a sports bra plenty of times at Quidditch practice.

Still, it was Monday morning and I was tired. I dried my hair as quickly as I could, leaving it in long black curls with a mean fringe that usually hid my bright blue eyes from the world. I learned at an early age that hiding my eyes and then unleashing them on an unsuspecting enemy was the best way to get that cupcake without finishing my dinner. I was a master manipulator by eight years old.

'Fuck it' I said before wrenching open the door and walking out as if I chose to not wear my shirt on purpose.

'Woah, Gates! I didn't know you were the sort for seductive lingerie!'

I groaned inwardly, refusing to let my sudden self-consciousness show.

'What's the problem Black? You said you wanted a favour?'

I faced him as I pulled my shirt on – I don't know where the self consciousness had come from but I was determined not to let it show. I probably had a better body than most of the girls he'd slept with thinks to James' vigorous training sessions and I wasn't about to be bloody ashamed of it.

'I uh...sorry. I wanted to ask you about Marlene.'

I laughed, so I was right – he was finally coming around to the idea.

'Well, despite the rumours, our Marley dearest is clean so I suggest you shag the poor girl and be done with it.'

I sat down for the briefest of moments to pull my converses on and looked up to find Sirius looming over me.

'That's not what I mean...how do I get rid of her? She's been following me around like a bad smell since third year and I don't know how to tell her that I'm not interested... I'm not shagging any of your mates.'

I took the hand he then offered and let him pull me to my feet.

'You're seriously passing up the opportunity to get off with some of the fittest girls in Hogwarts? Lily I can understand and I guess Alice is off limits now that she's with Frank but Marlene and Mary are arguably the best fucks in the Castle.'

He shot me a suspicious look as he passed me my bag and robe and we headed down for breakfast, seeing as the rest on our friends had long since left.

'And you'll be talking from experience then?' he laughed, obviously joking and not expecting my answer at all.

'Well yeah actually. Me and Marley had a fling last year and Mary will do anything if she's drunk enough. We never went the whole way but you get the idea.'

'Wait...Gates...are you gay?'

'No, Black, I'm Bi. So is Marley but don't tell her I told you because she's still in denial.'

We walked for several minutes in silence until Sirius hooked one arm around my shoulders. If it was anyone but him I would have shrugged it off but he did this all the time – it was a by product of being the two best beaters in the castle.

'You still haven't told me how to get her to back off though.'

'Maybe I don't want her to back off of you...' I grinned up at him, getting ready to run. It was a blatant lie – the way she was acting was pissing me off more than ever. It was childish and creepy and starting to grate on everyone's nerves.

'And why wouldn't you want her to?'

'Maybe I just like watching you suffer.'

'How could you say that! I've been nothing but civil to you and your girls!'

'That's a lie and you know it doll. You are an insufferable prat to everyone except your mates.'

'So are you though!' His brief reply had been enough to distract me from his arm slipping from my shoulders to my waist and he had pinned me to the wall and was tickling me mercilessly before I could do anything about it.

'Merlin Black! Cut it out!' I screamed, trying to squirm out of his grasp but it was no good. I might have built up a fair few muscled from Quidditch but there was no escaping him.

'All you have to do it agree to help me Gates, then I'll stop.'

'Never!' I choked through tears of laughter.

'Your funeral love.' He lifted me effortlessly and threw me over his shoulder, carrying me the rest of the way to the great hall.

I had given up struggling by the time we had reached the first staircase but I wasn't set on my feet until the entire population if the school had witnessed me carried to breakfast by Sirius Black.

As I slipped in beside Lily and Alice at the table and shot him a dirty look.

'I'll get you for this Black, I swear I will.'

He just shoved a slice of toast in my mouth and told me to shut up; grinning like the idiot he was the whole time.


	2. Chapter 2

Gorgeous Nightmare

2.

I should have known that the infamous Hogwarts rumour mill would blow Sirius' antics out of proportion by the time I was heading to lunch.

The latest version was that we had run into each other in New York over the summer and spent the whole summer flirting all day and fucking all night. Now I was pregnant and we were getting married over Christmas.

The rumours I can handle – I won't deny that I've always thrived on attention and everyone talking about me added a new swagger to my already cocky gait.

It was Sirius's bloody fan club that got to me. My only blessing was that Marlene had been around me long enough to know that my attitude only proved the rumours were false because her jealousy can be _vicious_.

It didn't mean that she stopped the seven girls that tried to hex me on my walk from the Greenhouses to the Great Hall, it just meant that she didn't join in – she was still a bit pissed that I wasn't putting a stop to the rumours. In my defence though, Sirius' fan club wouldn't believe me so I wasn't about to waste energy trying to talk to them.

The man himself dropped into the seat opposite me just as I had deflected a rather half hearted stinging jinx from a random Hufflepuff.

'Wotcher Gates.'

'Black.'

I was less than inclined to look up from my DADA book – the smallest glance could fuel the rumour mill and if it took a whole day of ignoring my team mate to get back to being just under the radar then so be it.

However I knew it wasn't to last because Mary was frowning at us and I watched from the corner of my eye as she took a deep breath and prepared to ask a question that had obviously been bothering her for some time.

'Stop me if I've asked this before but...'

I closed my book and laid it gently on the table, careful not to knock anything over.

'The moon doesn't fall out of the sky because of gravity, unicorns are very real and very shy, flobberworms will not eat you alive, pink is not, nor will it ever be, the new black and you defiantly did not see a large stag running around with a large dog. Okay?'

'No...It was none of them and I'm telling I saw it. What I was going to ask was... if you two at least get on well enough to not fight like Lily and James, why is it you use each other's last names?'

We both glanced at each other and shrugged.

'Quidditch habit probably...'

Truth was, I was pretty convinced that Sirius didn't actually _know _my first name.

All of a sudden, I was seeing stars as something metallic collided with the back of my head and once again I was blessed by Quidditch injuries as a metal goblet was nothing compared to a bludger.

Lily was already storming towards whatever Slytherin had throw it and as soon as I could see straight I had grabbed Sirius by the tie and pulled him half way across the table.

'I'm telling you now, Black – if you don't sort these fucking fan girls out then I'm declaring war on every single one of them and a school wide genocide will take place, blood status be damned, if your name passes their lips then I'll take them out. Understand?'

I released him back into his seat, flicked a mushroom at him to show there were no truly bad feelings and went back to my book.

In Charms I started a list.

It was a list of all of the people who had ever given me shit. M threat to Sirius had started me thinking about my treatment over the years. Up until fourth year I had been less than popular and even up until last year I wasn't exactly well liked. Now I was doing okay but some grudges ran deep.

Marlene hadn't always been the friend she was now which is exactly why I knew all about her nasty streak. For my first three years she made my life hell and only me saving her neck from a bunch of older Slytherins had seen her drop the attitude and try to make it up to me. Our brief fling in sixth year had left things more strained than ever as she furiously denied it ever happened whilst I couldn't give a shit.

Sirius had been a prick when I first joined the Quidditch team but after three bludgers to his ribs he had lightened up and I would even loosely consider him a mate after he helped me out of a rough spot. The other Marauders had never knowingly said a word against me and any pranks against me had all been good natured. They were arrogant, annoying and big-headed but so was I so I couldn't really hold it against them.

My main target was not Slytherin, as you might have assumed, but Ravenclaw. Those girls were some of the cruellest and I have been very nearly driven to suicide in fifth year by them. My plan for these Ravenclaws was simple – hit them where it hurt the most, their intelligence. The hard part was how to go about it, not all Ravenclaws are book smart, you know.

Of course, there were a few Slytherins on my list but most of them had already left school. Only Snape was still here and I would have to be sneaky if I wanted to get back at his for making me fail potions in third year. I could always enlist the help of the Marauders with him though.

'Hey, Gates, can I have a word?'

I wasn't really paying much attention as I left the class; I was more concerned with my new desire for vengeance.

'JORDIS AMELDA GATES!'

I stopped at the mention of my full name, turning in shock to see Sirius running to catch up with me. Okay, maybe he did know my first, and middle, name.

'What's up?'

'They're after me!'

'Eh?'

'I might have accidentally, don't look at me like that! It _was_ an accident, set Donald Mason's robes on fire and now the entire Ravenclaw team are after me. _Help!'_

I could hear the sound of people running full pelt round the corridor and did the only thing I could think of.

I shoved Sirius hastily into a broom cupboard and leaned against the door, trying to keep a straight face as I sat on the floor and pretended to be scribbling something in my notebook.

Kevin Millhouse was a big guy – he was one of the Ravenclaw beaters and the exact opposite of me and Sirius. Whilst we were the wiry type with near perfect aim and a pretty decent swing, he was all muscle and has sent more people off with broken bones than anyone in the school's history.

'Where is he Gates?'

I glanced up briefly before returning my attention to my list.

'Who?'

'Black.'

'Which one? There are two, you know.'

'Your one.'

'Why?'

'Just tell me where he is!'

'No. I'm hardly about to set you on my teammate if I don't know what you want.'

'He put out fucking seeker in the infirmary! I want to fucking kill him!'

'There, wasn't so hard, was it? As it is, I've not seen him since lunch and I probably won't see him until tomorrow if he's got free periods for the rest of today. Sorry boys.'

I waited until they had stalked off around a corner until I wrenched open the door to find Sirius sprawled on the floor, clutching his head.

'Sorry mate. Didn't mean to hurt you...you alright?'

I offered him a hand to help him up but when he was on his feat I felt myself dragged inside the cupboard as the door slammed shut behind me. I tried to protest but his hand was clamped over my mouth and I was pressed against the wall.

'Shhh.' He hissed

Then I heard it.

There was someone else out there.

'Did you find him?' That was Marlene's voice.

'No. The Gates girl said she hadn't seen him.' Millhouse was back as well.

'Well of course she said that! You were supposed to beat it out of her! I thought you wanted to get him back?'

'What's it to you anyway? I thought she was your friend?'

'That little bitch? Merlin, no! I'm sick and tired of the stupid puppy dog eyes she pulls whenever Sirius' is in the room. Whilst she's still around he won't even look at me. I wish she'd just killed herself in 5th year and done us all a favour.'

I started thrashing in the closet, I was going to slit her fucking throat. Sirius elbowed me in the stomach to get me to stop, shooting me an apologetic look.

'You're supposed to be smart! Some Ravenclaws you are. I'll just have to deal with her myself.'

When we heard them leave Sirius finally let me go and I slid down the wall to the floor.

'I'm sorry I hit you doll, are you alright?'

His voice was closer than I had anticipated and when I looked up I found his grey eyes right in front of me.

'Yeah, I'm good. I just...I'll kill her. I thought she had changed...I...'

I was taking deep breaths to stop myself from crying. Sirius had only ever seen me cry once and I wasn't about to give a repeat performance.

'Shhh, it's alright. We can deal with her later. Look, let's skip out on Defence and we can figure something out. Okay? Just like last time.'

I nodded weakly, letting him pull me through the corridors up to Gryffindor tower. I had known Marlene was still a bitch but I didn't think she would so that far.

There were a few sixth years in the common room so we wound up sitting on Sirius' bed, trying not the think about the rumours that were going to come from this. It was only the first day back and what was supposed to be the best year of my life was slowly deteriorating.

'Okay...revenge – I need _everything_ you've got on her.'

'Who said I even wanted revenge?'

He fixed me with the same look that McGonagall usual gave him whenever he denied involvement with a prank.

'You do...and even if you didn't I couldn't just let that slide. You're my friend, Jordis, and my teammate – if that doesn't give me the right to look out for you then I don't know what does. No one deserves to be told that they should kill themselves, especially not someone who actually tried to.'

'I never knew that you knew my full name.' I was emotionally drained and half of me just didn't want to talk about Marlene.

'Of course I do... it's just one of those things that I've always known. Just like I know that us being up here probably isn't helping the rumours from breakfast...sorry about that as well – I forgot they could be so... detailed.'

I took to picking at a lose thread on my jeans, steadily making a small hole in one knee that would no doubt be another reason for people to give me shit. Of course I wanted revenge – isn't that what I had been planning in Charms? I just hadn't expected to add Marlene to that list.

'Her sexuality is the only thing that would get to her and I won't use that against someone. It's fucked up and besides, that one could be turned on me as well. There's nothing that can be used against her.'

We lapsed into companionable silence for a few moments until Sirius spoke up, it was the first time I had ever heard him be hesitant about something.

'You could...I mean...I suppose you could use me...'

'What do you mean? She..._oh_...I couldn't do that Sirius.'

'Why not? It would piss her off and it's not like I'd be in the dark about it...I'm offering here – everyone _thinks _were going at it already so why don't we just...stop fighting the rumours? Let them think that we're dating. That way, I get to keep an eye on you and we can hit Marlene where it hurts.'

'So you think I should become the slag that everyone thinks I am?'

'No...I just mean that she obviously thinks that you've got a thing for me and she's insecure about it so we should act on that. I don't mean we have to shag in the corridors or anything...just put it about that we're together.'

I was reluctant – I was one of the few witches in Hogwarts who could claim that the charms of Sirius Black didn't affect me and it was a claim I was rather proud of because of the moral high ground it gave me.

'James will flip his nut.'

'I can talk to James...if I have to then I'll tell him what she said – you know he gets protective of you.'

'Can you stop shooting down all of my arguments?'

'Am I honestly so horrible that you'd hate to even _pretend_ to date me? Or it s because I'm more of a brother type thing and you think it'd be weird?'

'Uh...' He was handing me a readymade excuse, I didn't need to admit anything but I was going to anyway – he was trying to help me out, it was the least I could do. '...actually... it's mostly because I'm a proud bitch and besides, everyone knows that I'm not really your type – they'd see through it.'

Yes, that would do nicely.

Sirius, however, wasn't about to give in that easily.

'Sometimes you've got to push past your pride, Jo...and who told you that you weren't my type? You're more my type than anyone I know – you love Quidditch, you've got a mean sense of humour, you don't run away from a fight and you're a loyal friend. What's not to like?'

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

'You see all of that when everyone else see's a violent, dirty-minded tomboy who can't control her emotions.'

He pulled my hand away from my jeans.

'Do you really hate yourself that much?'

'Not any more...' I sighed, running my free hand though my hair. '...Alright. I came up with this list in charms of all the people who have fucked with me since first year. If you and your limitless knowledge can help me get back at all of them then I'll stop resisting your plan. Deal?'

He visibly brightened, lunging over the bed to hug me.

'Deal! You won't regret this Jo... I'll keep you safe, I promise.'

'Yeah, yeah...just do me a favour?'

'Hmn?'

'Don't call me Jo...or Jo-Jo or Jordis or anything relating to my name. The girls call me Jinx.'

And that was how I bought myself a place in the deepest circle of Hell. Sirius was too excited about this fake relationship, especially considering it would cut down on his sex life. I should have known then and there that something was going to go wrong, I just didn't know _how_ wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Gorgeous Nightmare

3.

It was worse than I thought.

I had left the boys dorm to try and fix my eyeliner before dinner so it didn't look like I had been fighting tears all afternoon and had quickly found myself engulfed by four seemingly worried friends. It was like a slap in the face to see the way Marlene looked genuinely worried about me.

'Jinx, honey, where were you? You just vanished after Charms! Where did you go?'

Lily hadn't even commented on my skipping class, not yet anyway – she was still to hear the excuse me and Sirius had agree on.

'Oh...it's a little awkward...Sirius accosted me on the way to Defence and uh...after an awkward snog in an unused classroom on the sixth floor I may have accidentally gone back on all of my principles and agreed to go out with him next Hogsmead weekend.'

The effect this statement had on the dorm was monumental but it was Lily's duty as my best mate to get to the bottom of it.

'Did he hex you? Threaten you? Slip you a love potion? Or have you just gone completely bonkers?'

'Lily, chill out! It's not the first time he's asked me out and I decided that, if he's that persistent, then I might as well give him a chance. He's pretty hot and it's not like I've got anything better to do. One date isn't going to hurt. Besides, all we're going to do is talk about Quidditch and pranks – it'll be just like any other day.'

'But it's _Sirius Black_- 'He-Of-The-One-Track-Mind'! I thought you said you'd rather die that go out with him?'

'No Lils. That was what you said about James, who is also a persistent little shit and probably worth giving a chance. It's not the end of the world, I just... I'm sick of letting my pride get in the way of my life.'

'God love you Jinx – you better tell me if he tries anything though. One wrong move and I'll take a severing charm to his dick. You coming to dinner?'

I hugged my best friend, glad that she didn't freak out too much.

'Thanks Lily... I just want to fix my make-up. I'll be out in a few.'

I tried to avoid catching Marlene's eye as I moved into the bathroom; I didn't trust myself not to give anything away.

There was a soft knock of the door and I turned to see James standing there. I had long since accepted that the Marauder's access to the girl's dorm was one of those great secrets of life that I would never understand.

'Hey, what's wrong?'

'Nothing...Sirius just told me about what happened and, if it's any consolation, I'll skin her alive if she says anything like that again. Oh...and tell me about this list some time? We could do with some new targets.'

'Thanks James...before you go...is Lily out there?'

He ducked out of the door briefly.

'Nope, I think they're in the common room, why?'

'Her favourite colour is blue, roses are her favourite flower and she loves the view from the north tower. Just a tip...don't be a prat with it and you heard none of it from me.'

That night Lily found a single, charmed blue rose lying on her pillow and a note with a small doodle of a stag.

Quidditch practice on Friday night consisted of me and Sirius flying in circles and trying to avoid James and his good natured joking. I knew he was doing it so that everyone else would believe that we were really together but it didn't make it any less embarrassing.

We were the last three left in the changing room and I finally managed to kick James lightly in the shins.

'Honestly, keep that up and it's going to start sounding as false and it is.'

James threw the Quaffle at me as he dried his hair.

'It's not my fault that you two don't exactly _act_ like a couple. You're as far away from each other as it's possible to be.'

'That's because _someone_ still thinks that she's not my type and she' going out of her way to prove it. Honestly, Jinx, if you'd just relax...be yourself! I've still got those bloody fan girls hitting on me at every turn – until they believe it, no one else will.'

'Fine. You want me to go all-out any convince people that this is the most legitimate relationship in the school? I'll see you boys in the morning then.'

I wasn't angry as such because they had a point – I had been putting increasingly less effort into my appearance and I was probably doing more damage than good. Marlene had gotten colder but whilst I ignored it, Lily, Mary and Alice didn't.

I snuck into the dorm, James had kept us out until almost midnight, using his leverage as Head Boy to keep us practicing for as long as possible and I didn't want to disturb the girls.

I crept into the bathroom and studied myself in the mirror. I would spend the next six hours working on my new look and just down a couple of energy potions before breakfast.

The first thing I did was take a severing charm to my waist length hair, cutting it so that it fell to just a touch below my shoulders and shaping my severe fringe so that it was less of a straight line and more asymmetric, cutting diagonally across my pale face.

For the next move I put a bleaching charm that my mother used to use, twirling a few strands of hair around wand until the bottom layer of my fringe was a shocking white. I was half tempted to charm it a bright red but decided to leave that for a later date if I got bored.

I pulled the sleeves of my Quidditch jumper up and frowned at my scarred arms. I could have gone to Madame Pomfrey a long time ago to have them removed but part of me felt that keeping them there would act as a reminder of how far I had come. I had to do something with them though – if I was aiming to shock then my whole sorry past had to be on display.

I muttered a charm that made them look a little less raised and fresh – they were years old now but had never quite healed properly. There was going to be no more long sleeves and too many bracelets.

I silently slipped back into the dorm and pulled my trunk open if was nearing four in the morning. I had two hours to play with before the girls would be waking up and I would have to hide somewhere so I could make my grand entrance. Merlin only knows why they had to be up at six on a Hogsmead weekend. I dug out my most trashed pair of jeans that were slit and frayed along with a t-shirt for some muggle band that I had found in the holidays. I cut the neck off and sleeves off, giving it a slightly baggy, off-shoulder effect. It took me almost half an hour to find my combat boots but once they were one and stole back into the bathroom briefly.

A thick layer of eyeliner and bright red lipstick later and I was preparing myself to re-pierce my lip.

It had been a snap decision two summers ago to walk into a muggle piercing studio and get it done after a fight with my parents, I think the Muggles called them 'snake bites' and I had decided not to mention it in the common room else they thought I was moving to the dark side. I had to take them out for Quidditch though and the holes had shrunk significantly.

I sunk out of the common room at six in the morning with two black rings on my throbbing lips and my leather jacket over my arm.

I took my time breaking into Slughorn's stores for the energy boosting potions and then hid myself away in an empty classroom on the first floor and wrapping several studded belts around my waist that I had removed to avoid rattling whilst I pilfered the potions. Now all I had to do was wait.

By eight o'clock it was safe to assume that everyone, Marauders and all, would be in the great hall and hopefully wondering when I had gone. Lily and the girls would have told them that I wasn't in the dorm and that my bed hadn't been slept in and Sirius would be doing a good job of looking worried whilst Peter didn't care and Remus told him I was perfectly capable of looking after myself.

I paused at the top of the main stairs and pulled myself together. This was the entrance that I had been dying to make for years and it was a moment I wasn't going to waste.

I flicked up the collar of my jacket and hooked my thumbs into one of my belts as I stood in the doorway, staring down the whole hall. They wanted Sirius Black's girlfriend? They were going to see _exactly _who she could be.

Once I had a decent amount of attention, I strode confidently down the hall between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables. The Marauders had noticed the whispering and my friends all turned in my direction. The girls had seen me like this before but the boys were works of art.

Remus was shaking his head in disbelief and laughing at James who had gone a sickly green colour whilst Sirius looked like he had stopped breathing.

'Morning boys...' I took a seat between Sirius and Remus, trying my hardest now to laugh. '...breathe love, blue isn't your best colour.'

'Gates what _happened _to you? What's that on your mouth?'

I looked around my fake boyfriend at his best friend.

'Lipstick...I though even you'd know that!'

'I mean the black things!'

'_Oh them!_ I got my lip pierced a few summers back. Don't worry; I'll take them out for Quidditch. Sirius? Are you okay?'

He laced his fingers with mine under the table and nodded.

Lily and Alice were sniggering across from us so I started on them.

'Hey Lils, you found out who your secret admirer is?'

I could see James trying not to react but even he couldn't miss that blush.

'There was another rose last night, this time with a note to meet them in the North Tower tonight for dinner. Do you think I should go?'

'Of course you should go! What if this is the man of your dreams! Blue roses, North tower to watch the sunset – he sounds perfect for you Lily.'

She hummed in agreement before she noticed that James was being uncharacteristically quiet.

'And if you even think about pranking it then I'll have you expelled so fast you're head'll spin. Understand?'

James looked up from his breakfast with a small smile.

'Lily, if this is what makes you happy then I'm not going to stop it.'

Sirius nodded towards the door and we left before Lily could interrogate James.

The walk down towards Hogsmead was quiet as most of the students who could come were either still having breakfast or hadn't even woken up yet.

'So what's with the sudden change?' Sirius asked once we were out with earshot of the castle.

'What you said last night gave me an idea – I've been looking for an excuse to give myself a makeover since the Astronomy Tower... you don't think it's too much? You looked pretty...unsure at breakfast...'

'It's amazing Jinx...I just didn't expect it – you've always looked gorgeous but there was just something extra today and...It took me by surprise.'

How could I not blush at the compliment? Especially when it was accompanied by one of his infamous smiles. Just because I had never fallen for his charm didn't mean I was immune to his looks. The git.

'You're still holding my hand, y'know.'

'I know. You never know who we'll run into – you're stuck like this all day, I'm afraid. Put any more thought into that list? James said he was willing to help out.'

I pulled a piece of parchment from my back pocket.

'Fancy hitting The Three Broomsticks and working something out?'

'Sounds perfect, love.'


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I have no idea where this is going. I'm at the point where I'm just ingesting copious ammounts of caffine and hoping for the best. There is no apparent plot, no idea of how long it will be and no concept of 'this is a bad idea' so...yeah. Rambling may occur from time to time. **

**Also, excuse me whilst I flail over the lovely reviews I've got because _oh my god people are actually reading this_!**

**So thank you :D And I'll try to keep it up...even if it gets a little silly :)**

**x  
><strong>

Gorgeous Nightmare

4.

In the morning, The Three Broomsticks is still as hectic as ever – it was like no one ever bloody slept.

Sirius brought the drinks over as I spread my list out on a table in the furthest corner.

'So who's first?' He asked, taking the seat beside me.

'The girls that chased me up to the Astronomy Tower. I want to do something that will tell them it's me but that they can't go to a teacher about without telling the full story. I can't very well jump them in a corridor either and neither can you lot...'

We sat staring at the parchment for a good five minutes before turning to each other and chorusing.

'Slytherin it is.'

How we managed to turn back to the list without cracking a smile was a mystery. Sirius was the first to snap with a wide grin and I soon followed, in no time at all we were leaning against each other for support as we broke down laughing.

By the time any of our friends had ventured into the village we had nearly managed to empty the pub with our plotting and hysterical laughter. The fact that we had recently moved on from Butterbeer to Firewhisky probably wasn't helping.

It was easier to act like a couple when we needed each other to stop from falling over and I found myself thanking whatever deities that may exist that it was early enough for us to sober up a little before going back to the castle.

'And then I say we take all of the Ravenclaws...' Sirius was flailing his arms as he tried to explain our little plans to James '...and we tell them the library's been moved to the dungeons. _Then_! This is the brilliant bit – you remember that weird gooey vat of stuff that we fell into in third year? We'll push them in that!'

James had fixed us with this look that promised he was going to poke holes in our plan until it was dust.

'So you mean to tell me that you spent all of this time on your date planning to push Ravenclaws into vats of decaying eels? Merlin, you two really are loves young dream.'

Lily, however, couldn't be put off.

'I thought you all agreed that you were going to lay off on the pranks? And I thought you said that sinking to the level of those girls was pointless?'

I shrugged, folding the list up so Marlene wouldn't be tempted to read it.

'Eh...Well I thought that until they decided to have a go after Charms. That's why I was on the sixth floor in the first place – it put me off and...'

Lily nodded sympathetically but Marlene didn't look as convinced. Her eyes were narrowed ever so slightly and I didn't trust that look one bit. Sirius must have followed my gaze because he gave my hand a brief squeeze and I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine.

Whether it was the sudden touch or the way Marlene's eyes flashed dangerously, I couldn't tell.

Once Lily announced that she was leaving to get ready for her date and James had left to 'rescue Remus from Honeydukes' the rest of our friends started to drift away.

'It was you that told James about Lily loving the North Tower, wasn't it?'

'It might have been. Heaven knows those two need each other – James needs to prove to her that he's not the prat she thinks he is and she needs to accept that she could do with lightening up around him a bit – she's actually a great laugh.'

He nudged my shoulder with his.

'Sickle for your thoughts?'

'I'm torn between going back up to the castle sober or getting shit faced so I can look Marlene in the eye. Her acting's getting worse - I didn't know how long she'll last before she snaps and, honestly, I don't want to be in the same dorm as her when she does.'

'Move into ours then. It's not exactly the other side of the castle.'

'Really? You _really_ think that would keep me safe from that crazy bitch? Besides, I'm not going to move into your dorm...it would be weird and people would talk.'

He was kissing my neck before I could push him away, working his way up my jaw before resting his forehead against mine. I could only hope that my eyes weren't as unfocused as they felt.

'People are going to talk anyway. At least you'd be safe...actually...you're not allergic to polyjuice potion and veritaserum, are you?'

'Are you trying to tell me that you're brewing illegal potions in your dorm?'

He smirked at me with a twinkle to rival even Dumbledore's.

'We might be...you'd have to come and find out for yourself. Just imagine what you could do to those girls with just a few drops of Veritaserum in their morning coffee.'

'How fast can you sneak in a spare bed?' I was only half joking. I didn't honestly think it was a good idea but the temptation was great.

'Oh darling, you don't quite get it. You'll be sleeping with me, love.'

'What? I know we've got this going on but don't you think that's a bit too far?'

Sirius pulled me out of the pub, away from any students who might have overheard.

'What I mean is that we can't actually _fit_ another bed in there so you'd be stuck with one of us. Whilst James probably wouldn't mind because he sees you like a little sister and he'd see it as his duty to keep you safe, he snores like a fucking monster. Remus is more likely to drag you out of bed at some ungodly hour to go to the library and I know Peter creeps you out so I'm you best option if you actually want to sleep.'

'What _will_ my mother say if she finds out that the resident man whore of Hogwarts talked me into his bed?'

'Probably agree that we would have the most beautiful children in the world. You'll move then?'

'Keep making comments like that and I'll move in with Filtch instead. Give it a while yeah? See how this plays out.'

His arm was back around my shoulders as we wandered towards the castle.

'Just promise that you'll come to us first the moment it gets too dangerous?'

'I promise.'


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So...I realised half way though this chapter that the prank was really naff and I'm a little concerned about where my brain has decided to take this. **

**Oh well, I'm sure I'll find out soon enough :)**

**x  
><strong>

Gorgeous Nightmare

5

'Wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony. Seven targets, seven Deadly Sins and in our seventh year as well – aren't we all just spectacular. I was just thinking that it might be cool if we had a bit of fun on Halloween. Plan?'

I was lounging on the floor of the boy's dorm with a notebook in front of me whilst James and Remus poured over a map they had introduced me to a few weeks prior. Remus was keeping an eye on our intended target's usual routine whilst James was watching Lily who had become decidedly warmer towards him since their secret date that she was yet to mention to any of the girls.

Sirius was hanging over the foot of his bed, reading over my shoulder.

'So who gets what? Or should we just make it up as we go?'

'Marlene _has_ to be Lust. It would just be poetic justice. Wrath and Pride should go to the Nelson twins in Ravenclaw with Greed maybe reserved for Snape. That just leaves Sloth, Envy and Gluttony.'

'Have you _seen_ the way Snivellus looks at Lily? I reckon he should get Envy – we could charm his eyes green for the day or something which would open up Greed for that Avery git who tried to feel you up in the dungeons last week and Gluttony should be...'

'...that vain tart Bree Winters!'

Sirius kissed the top of my head and I had to forcibly stop myself from blushing. The more time we spent alone, pretending to be a couple, the more I was dreading the day we broke up. It was the most surreal thing I had ever been a part of and he was slowly becoming my best friend – I was hard pressed to think of something he _didn't_ know about me even if he always seemed shocked to find out stupid things like my passion for all things Halloween.

James looked up from his study and smirked.

'You don't need to pretend in here, you know.'

I shrugged and scribbled down what we had decided.

'We could always use Prongs for Sloth...' I shot him a challenging grin. '... Can you just imagine Lily's face when he turned into a four-eyed lazy git? Oh wait...'

I wasn't sure _when_ I had started calling the Marauders by their chosen nicknames, it just seemed to be a by-product of spending almost every waking second with them and it wasn't like they had much to hide from me – I had known they were Animagi ever since I commented on the wildlife last year and they threatened me with everything they had so that I wouldn't tell. Not that I would, it was a brave and wonderful, if stupid and reckless, thing to do for Remus. It just went to show that they weren't the gits they tried to be.

As I was thinking, Sirius had snatched my notebook from hands and had started flipping through it. I turned around and grabbed it back, blushing furiously.

'It's impolite to read a ladies' journal. Didn't James' mother teach you any manners?'

James snorted from the corner.

'Too bloody late for that.'

'Oi! I'll have you know that I have impeccable manners! When I want to... I've already read it anyway. You might want to look at the back page.' The last part was hissed in my ear.

I flipped to the back as calmly as I could.

'_Hey Jordis - you have the dirtiest mind of anyone I know. Tell me, are these real experiences because, if they are, we should talk ;)_

_Love, Pads.'_

Oh fuck my life with a fucking Christmas tree fairy.

So maybe I get bored sometimes and my boredom _might_ lead to less than pure dreams and those dreams _might_ have to be written down just to get them out of my system and I _might_ have far too many journals and this _might_ be '_that'_ journal and Sirius _might_ have read them.

I ripped the page out, turned it over and scribbled my own note in response.

'_I'm alright in bed but I'm better with a pen.'_

I tossed it back and went back to creating the perfect Halloween prank when I heard Sirius almost choke.

'Fucking hell Jinx!'

'What?'

'Double entendre much?'

I groaned into my hands as the full impact of my words hit me.

'You get that image out of your head right this instant Sirius Black otherwise I'll knock it out myself'

'I didn't have an image until you said that! Merlin girl! Are you trying to get me killed or something?'

'Oh shut up. It's your own fault for reading it in the first place. James, back to work – you heard nothing.'

'But what's he...'

'_Nothing._'

I threw my notebook back into m bag and headed for the door.

'Don't forget your pen now doll!'

My stinging jinx sent him flying off of his bed and left him howling in pain. I heard the other three wince – good to know my aim was as good as ever.

Halloween was to be a beautiful affair. James was on good terms with the house elves and they were going to make sure that each potion ended up in the correct goblet. All we had to do was tamper with the decorations a little whilst everyone else was out.

I may have been banned from wearing a costume thanks to the Great Octopus Disaster of fourth year but it didn't stop me from jazzing trips to and from class up a little with a few smoke charms and overdramatic make up supplied by Lily. I had to hold off on the smoke a little after lunch though as I very nearly fell face-first into a portable swamp that had been left lying.

The feast was relatively sedate up until desert appeared, that was when our grand plan was scheduled. Sirius had slipped out moments before and James, Remus and I were sitting with our wands drawn under the table.

The hall was filled with the sound of a revving engine that grew steadily louder until a masked Sirius rode in on his new motorbike, his hair whipping behind him as he flew between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables, skidding to a halt at the front of the hall.

'What foul creatures are these!'

Like it or not, Sirius was _born_ for the stage. Dramatics came naturally to him.

'Vile beings born of malcontent demons and hell spawn! You sir! Explain thyself!'

James climbed onto the bench to join in.

'Perhaps we could ask you the same question, Rider, state your business then return from whence you came!'

This was the plan – stage a duel between James and Sirius whilst Remus worked on the complex charms to activate the potions we had spiked seven goblets with.

'I cometh to seek the hand of that fair maiden sat beside thee! Such a delight ought not to suffer the companionship of such a mammering onion-eye hedge-pig such as thee!'

Then again, his ad-libbing left much to be desired.

'Say that again?'

'Jinx is coming with me because you're a git and she's my girlfriend!'

'Right...yeah. HAVE AT THEE!'

The ensuing battle was tame and mostly consisted of loud bangs and coloured sparks but it provided Remus with the cover needed. When his job was done Remus turned to me and nodded discreetly, I then fired purple sparks at James as he pretended to fall down dead.

That was when the first scream sounded.

Severus Snape found himself on his feet , dressed head-to-toe in a less that flattering green dress as his eyes flickered briefly before settling on a shade of green that put Lily's eyes to shame. He tried to run but after a few moments found himself frozen to the spot.

Avery was the next to go as he was forced to his feet, looking as if he was about to be sick but instead of vomit, fake galleons spilled from his mouth as he to tried to leave and was frozen in place.

We had settled on Mulciber for Sloth, nicely rounding off the Seventh year Death Eaters. His was a difficult one to decide on but small clouds formed around him and he floated off the ground just in time for the sleeping potion to kick in and he was left sleeping in mid air.

The spell hit Ravenclaw next where three sets of eyes went wide as they felt the effects take hold.

Diana Nelson's face was stretched into a silent, furious scream as her nails grew to talons and her eyes turned a horrifying red. Her identical twin Macey was forced to stand tall as mirrors were conjured to surround her. Bree Winters shrieked in terror as her skin bubbled and swelled until she was almost unrecognisable.

Marlene was my favourite and, as such, was saved for last. Her hair and nails grew whilst her robes shrank and tightened, taking on the properties of leather. Her lips turned the sluttiest shade of red and a whip was conjured to match her outfit. She looked at us with pure contempt, her eyes promising a proper bollocking but the spell now silencing her. When her eyes met mine though, something in me died and I just couldn't do this anymore.

I made my way up to Sirius who pretended to be repulsed by the new statues.

'What foul witchcraft is this! Come, fair lady! Let us leave these most depraved creations!'

'Drop it Sirius...just go.'

I pulled myself onto the bike behind him, ignoring the worried glance he shot me.

'I'm not dropping this. Oi! You lot! This isn't just some stupid prank – it's a warning. All seven of them have hurt someone I love in the worst imaginable way and if _anyone_ goes near my girl again, a little parlour trick will be the least of your worries. '

I couldn't even feel victorious as we flew from the hall and jumped the front steps out into the grounds. By the time we were halfway to the forest I just wanted to sleep. Revenge hadn't been as sweet as I had hoped.

We screeched to a halt by the boat hut and I pulled myself onto a low wall whilst Sirius wheeled the bike inside and disillusioned it before throwing a sheet over it to keep it safe from the weather.

'You know McGonagall is going to skin us alive for that, right?'

Sirius joined me on the wall, throwing a cloak around my shoulders to block the cold wind.

'Then we tell her what they did. That little stunt is _nothing_ compared to the things they've done. What's really wrong? You're not scared about being punished, I know you're not. There's something else.'

'It just... I don't feel any better. This was supposed to be some big 'fuck you' to them and, compared to some of your older pranks, it was shit. It was tacky and shit and no one will get the references anyway. I've lost it – all of that motivation I had at the start of the year is gone...' I leaned back and stared up at the stars. '...have you ever just felt sick at the thought of being in a room with other people – no matter how much you love them? Can we just drop this whole act now? It was a good plan but...I just can't keep pretending anymore.'

It was the closest thing to the truth that he was going to get. I wanted out now, before I was too attached to let him go. I had never been someone who needed a relationship to feel complete but Sirius was in danger of changing that. I didn't know if it was because he was such a good friend or because, fake or not, it was the longest either of us had been with anyone.

'You expect me to just let you go? You're _honestly_ telling me that you want me to just walk away from this and pretend that the last two months didn't happen? No way Jordis – I promised I would keep you safe and that's exactly what I'm going to do. You do this all the time, I've seen you mope about for weeks on end and then you cheer up. You have mood swings and were going to bloody well work through that. We're going to see McGonagall now and we're going to tell her why we did what we did. We'll tell her about Snape attacking you in second year; Avery and Mulciber trying to molest you in the dungeons; the Nelsons and Winters pushing you to the brink of suicide and even about Marlene fucking McKinnon scaring you so much that you're moving into the boys dorm whether she fucking likes it or not. If they don't do something about it then...then I don't know what I'll do but it won't be pretty. You're my girlfriend Jordis, whether you like it or not, I'm not letting you go now that I've got you.'

'What have I told you about calling me 'Jordis'?'

'It's a cool name! I looked it up in first year – it means 'Sword Maiden' and if that's not fucking awesome than I don't know what is...but stop changing the subject - we're going to see Minnie and then you're moving your things into our dorm.'

Merlin let the morning come soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I know it's a little bit squiffy here but, like I said, I have no plan for this...at all. I've not written a single word of the next part and I've not got the foggiest where it will go. I'm a little tempted to get ridiculous with it and throw every cliché in the book at it just to have a laugh. **

**Once again, I want to say thank you to all of you who left me lovely reviews and petted my ego, I'm honestly not used to getting feedback that didn't include my teachers telling me I was never going to be any good so for people to like what is a fun story that i lvoe but most certainly isn't my best work is really amazing. :)  
><strong>

Gorgeous Nightmare

6

Minerva McGonagall was not amused.

It was a well known fact that she made it her business to know if her students were having a problem and for her to not know about _any_ of what happened was clearly bothering her.

When Sirius and I had first shown up at her door she was furious but her face as Sirius told her my story was what concerned me the most.

It started out as disbelief but quickly turned to pity and I just couldn't take that – I didn't want her pity, I didn't want to be here in the first place but I had given up fighting Sirius. It wasn't like I had anything else right now seeing how Lily wouldn't speak to me for a few days for that prank. I knew she wouldn't hate me but there was always a space of a day or two where she would give me the silent treatment for breaking the rules seeing as she wouldn't give me detention.

'Miss Gates...I take it your silence is a confirmation of what Mr Black is telling me?'

I nodded, still not looking up, not even when Sirius' hand closed over mine.

'Can I ask why you didn't tell someone about it before now? Even Miss Lily Evans? I understand she is a good friend of yours. Surely you didn't think that keeping it to yourself would stop it getting worse, you are far more intelligent than that.'

'Lily would only have smothered me. I love her to bits but...she would wrap me in cotton wool and never let me out of her sight. I developed some...uh...weird ways of coping. I became a bit of an adrenaline junkie – I just needed to feel alive, you know? Lily would have killed me for half of the things I did. Stupid stuff like...like flying racing brooms through the forbidden forest trying to see how deep I could get or...' I shot Sirius a sideways glance '...or wandering the grounds during a full moon because I had heard rumours about werewolves...' I felt Sirius tense '...That was before I knew it was Remus though – after I found out I stopped that, I knew it would kill him if he accidentally bit me. I might have hated myself but I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't exactly go to Madame Pomfrey either – you _know_ what they do to people with a history of self harm, I'd be in a secure ward in St Mungos before I could even explain.'

There was silence in the room for a few minutes until McGonagall opened a draw in her desk and removed a small silver locket.

'This is an emergency portkey for student. Professor Dumbledore has charmed them to take the wearer to the safest place for them within the castle walls should they feel threatened. I am aware that you will feel it cowardly to run away from a fight but I think Mr Black will agree that this is the best course of action for the next few months as I am sure that the students that you targeted in the hall will likely be out for revenge. As for your actions earlier, I cannot condone them however I am willing to settle for the customary detention as punishment given the circumstances. If you don't mind me prying further, I would like to know just why Miss McKinnon was one of your chosen targets. I thought you were on good terms?'

Sirius was the one to jump in once more.

'Professor...I don't know if you know but me and Jordis have been dating for the last couple of months...except...we haven't...we were pretending to because we overheard Marlene saying that she wanted Jordis out of the picture...Marlene's kind of...obsessed with me and it was the best way for me to be able to keep Jordis safe and avoid Marlene...but, now you mention it, I wanted to talk about moving Jordis into the 7th year boys dorm. I know it's unconventional but it would only be until the end of the year or until this blows over. I've already talked to James, Remus and Peter about it and, I mean, she's like a sister to us. I can't think of there being anywhere else safer... I know what Marlene is capable of... she's vicious...'

McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

'Might I assume, Mr Black, that this is something that will go ahead whether I give my permission or not and that you telling me about it is merely a technicality?'

Sirius gave his best disarming smile.

'You know me so well Professor!'

'Yes, well, consider this a trial – if I hear of _any_ marks slipping or untoward happenings then I will not hesitate to relocate Miss Gates to separate accommodation out with Gryffindor Tower.'

I was pretty sure Sirius could have hugged her. Whilst I loved those boys, I couldn't help but think this was just going to end in a fight. I was moping, Sirius was going to get sick of it eventually and then it would all end horribly and he would never speak to me again.

I said nothing as we walked back to the common room but Sirius pulled me aside just before we reached the Fat Lady.

'Listen to me Jinx, I know this is going to be difficult and I know that you think we'll all end up hating each other but that's not going to happen. I waited three years to get you, I know that's not exactly the same as James' timeless love of Lily but I don't wait for anyone...except you...you're different Jordis.'

Any red blooded girl with any inkling of attraction to guys would have melted at just those words so I feel I can be forgiven for crumbling under the pressure of that added to the big, sincere eyes and the smallest of smiles.

No matter what went wrong in my life, I knew that I just couldn't stay miserable around Sirius – he had that infectious sort of aura that could, to use a muggle phrase, put the fun back into the funeral.

'Sirius you know damn well that I'm not that different. I know more people who are just like me than I care to count – I'm not some special snowflake...'

'...I bet I can still make you melt though.'

I smacked his arm but I was fighting a grin.

'You're insufferable. I just mean...wait – what do you mean three years?'

'I mean that I've been into you for three years...I thought you knew? Why else would I refuse to date your friends!'

'I thought it was because we're the best beaters in the school and you didn't want me to leave the team if you hurt them!'

'Really? You thought I was _actually_ that noble? Come on Jinx – this is me we're talking about! No, I wouldn't even think about dating them because I was trying to give you a hint...'

'What kind of a hint was that! You were shagging almost every other girl in the castle – I just assumed you didn't like us...seriously mate, it was a terrible hint. Who...who would _ever_ get that?'

'I thought it was pretty obvious. Besides, I was going to tell you in fourth year but I thought...I thought I wasn't good enough for you and then after fifth year I didn't want to drop that on you when you were still getting better...'

I had learned in fifth year that there was more to him than the tearaway pureblood with a talent for trouble and I knew from experience that he was more in tune to people's emotions than he was given credit for but this was so far beyond my expectations that it was taking a while to sink in.

'You really do care, don't you?'

'Took you long enough to notice love.'

What happened then was beyond description. The world didn't shake, I didn't see fireworks behind my eyes and I didn't all of a sudden picture myself walking down the aisle. I've kissed Sirius enough times in the last two months to not be completely bowled over by his skill and my knees had been long since trained to hold their own against his charms but we both knew that this was something else, it felt different but the same all at once.

Stepping through the portrait hole threw me for a moment. There was obviously some kind of argument breaking out – Mary and Alice were holding Marlene back as she struggled to get at James and Remus whilst Lily stood between the two groups. When they saw me my legs decided that they didn't want to go any further and my courage failed me for just a moment until Marlene broke free of our friends and stormed towards me.

As she came at me I felt my shoulders straightened of their own accord – this was no longer the stage confidence I used to treat my life like a performance, this was true confidence because I had the one thing she would never get.

'How _could_ you! You're supposed to be my friend! First you go after the guy I've been crushing on for years and then you humiliate me in front of the whole school! How fucking _dare_ you!'

'How dare I? How dare _you_! I saved your fucking life you little skank and you repaid me by pretending to be my friend and then tried to set some monstrous guys on me! Yeah honey, I heard all of that! We were in the broom cupboard right beside you. You've fucked with the wrong girl Marlene. You can call me out all you want but it doesn't matter because you've stabbed me in the back and if you try _anything_ then you can kiss your ass goodbye because, Merlin help me, I will take you apart piece by piece.'

He raised her hand to slap me but I side-stepped her and ran up to the dorm, not stopping to gloat as her hand hit the brick wall. I started throwing everything into my trunk before shrinking it and pocketing it.

When I returned Marlene was gone but the crowd that had gathered to watch us was still whispering.

'Lils, I love you to death doll but I refuse to sleep with one eye open just because she's got it in for me. McGonagall's letting me stay with the boys for a while...and before you ask we've got detention so...yeah am I forgiven?'

I found myself engulfed in a hug.

'Just be careful, okay? Don't get pregnant, don't get killed and don't even _think_ about dragging my head boy into any more pranks like that, okay?'

'Oh, _your_ head boy, eh? Something you're not telling us Lily?'

Of course I knew about their little trial relationship, James could hardly shut up about it.

'Oh, _fine. _I gave him a chance...he's not as bad as I thought he was. The blue rose was your idea, wasn't it?'

'Oh no, that was all him – I might have just let something slip, what he did with the information was entirely up to him.'

'Thank you Jinx, I owe you one.'


	7. Chapter 7

Gorgeous Nightmare

7

By the time Christmas had rolled round I had finally managed to settle into some kind of routine after the whole Halloween Uproar. Marlene had seemingly taken my threat to heart and was steering clear and, after three months of a steady relationship, the majority of Sirius' fan girls had given up. It was very close to how I had always dreamed my seventh year would be.

Lily and James had finally gone public with their relationship and, apart from a few comments now and then from the Marauders, they didn't get slated too bad. I think most people were just glad that James had finally stopped trying to in her over in increasingly drastic ways because it let them get on with their lives without fear of pixies bearing love notes raining down on them.

Again.

It hadn't been one of his better moves – they tore the common room to _shreds_. At least he never resorted to love potions which wasn't something that could be said about a few of the more..._determined _members of Sirius' fan club.

I came back from detention one night to find that Remus had locked Sirius in the dorm.

'Jordis, I don't know how to tell you this but your boyfriend is in love with me. Someone slipped him a love potion but, as it is, he's been trying to snog me for the last two hours.'

It was reluctant to believe that until I heard Sirius' voice on the other side of the door.

'Moony! Is that you! Are you still there? Let me out! I love you! Why don't you love me?'

I struggled to breathe as I was bent double laughing, clutching onto the banister for dear life.

'It's not funny Jordis! He could seriously hurt himself!'

'Remus, you don't quite get this – _Sirius Black_ thinks he's in love with you. Why aren't you making the most of it and using it to get back at him for the Snape incident? It's what I would do...just watch. Hey Sirius!'

'You're not Remus!'

'I know love Remus has just gone to...he's just gone to tell James how excited he is! I need you to write down _exactly _how you feel about him, okay? Can you do that for me? Put it in a howler, that was everyone will know how you feel... just remember not to add anything about you-know-what._'_

There was a sigh.

'Okay...but you have to tell me when he gets back.'

'I will Sirius, don't worry.'

Remus joined me on the floor and let his head fall back against the wall.

'What are you going to do with that howler?' He whispered.

'Now, we harvest the results and have it delivered to him at breakfast by which point the effects of the potion should have worn off.'

There was a feeble knock on the door.

'I've finished...'

I motioned for Remus to hide before I unlocked the door and took the red letter from a glassy-eyed Sirius.

'Very good Sirius, now go to bed – you want to wide away to see Remus' reaction in the morning.'

We all left for Breakfast before Sirius had surfaced and explain what had happened to Lily when we arrived.

Sirius half-stumbled into the Great Hall looking awfully hungover and fell into the seat between James and me, dropping his head into his hands.

I patted his head in the most patronising way possible.

'There, there Padfoot – what's the matter?'

'I feel like death. What was I _drinking_ last night? Actually, _when_ was I drinking because I don't remember anything...'

'Don't look now but your answer may be on it's way.'

There was no stopping the downright evil smirk that was plastered across Remus' face and that I'm sure was reflected on my own as the red envelope was dropped on Sirius' empty place.

He sat and stared at it and the whole hall had turned to watch as it began to smoke at the corners before bursting into flames.

'_TO MY LOVE, REMUS LUPIN. _

_REMUS. I LOVE YOU LIKE THE WOLF LOVES THE MOON! THAT'S A GOOD ONE, EH? BECAUSE YOU'RE MOONY AND I'M PADFOOT... AND I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I MEAN...HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF RECENTLY? I THINK WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND ADOPT LOTS AND LOTS OF CHILDREN AND MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A HOUSE BY THE SEA? YOU LIKE THE SEA. I'VE NEVER SEEN IT...WILL YOU MARRY ME MOONY? WE CAN GROW VEGETABLES AND YOU WOULD HAVE A MASSIVE LIBRARY AND A HUGE BED WITH SILK SHEETS AND IT WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL LIKE YOU. _

_WE COULD LIVE HIDDEN AWAY FROM EVERY ONE. EXCEPT PETER...AND JINX AND PRONGS...AND I SUPPOSE IF PRONGS IS THERE THEN LILY WOULD BE TO WITH THIER SCRUFFY HAIRED, BESPECKLED BABIES. THINK OF THE CHILDREN REMUS – WE NEED TO SAVE THEM FROM JAMES AND HIS RECKLESS PRATISHNESS. LILY WOULD NEVER FORGIVE US IF WE DIDN'T DO OUR DUTY. _

_LET US LIVE FOREVER ENSCONCED IN OUR COSY NEW HOME! THINK OF IT MOONY! WE COULD MAKE LOVE TO THE SOUND OF THE WAVES CRASHING DOWN! REMUS, HAVE I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU? BECASUE I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH._

_I AM YOURS FOREVER_

_PADFOOT.'_

There was a beat of dead silence when it seemed even the torrential December rain had stopped to stare.

Sirius was sitting staring at the smouldering pile of ashes before him whilst Remus and I were struggling to control our laughter. James was crying and Lily had vanished beneath the table but her attempts to stifle her giggles were not missed.

'So, silk sheets, eh?'

At Remus' words, the whole hall erupted into laughter; even McGonagall seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face whilst Dumbledore was openly chuckling.

Sirius was deathly pale, looking between me and Remus, trying to understand just how he could have been so shitfaced that he would have forgotten writing his best mate a love letter.

'Jinx I _swear _I'm not running away with Moony...what...what the fuck happened last night?'

'Calm your tits Pads, some chick slipped you a love potion and you fell in love with Moony. The poor boy had to sleep in the common room for fear of being molested in his sleep.'

'These girls are going to kill me.'

He slumped back to the table again.

'That's the spirit! Come on, we've got Quidditch practice.'


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: You might have noticed that I've started leaning a little towards the 'silly' side of things but that's just me :) **

Gorgeous Nightmare

8

The mood in Gryffindor was tense to say the least, we had our first match of the season coming up and, in some respects, being the last team to play their first match was great because we could see how everyone else was doing but it also mean that we were disastrously behind on points. That we were playing Ravenclaw, arguably the strongest team this year, wasn't doing anything to ease the tension.

Being a beater was a small blessing – there was very little to worry about in regards to scoring and as long as none of our team got hit by a bludger then there was no way either me or Sirius could be blamed for the outcome of the match. I also got to hit things so all in all, I was kept pretty happy.

Of course, it was all different once you were actually in the air.

As it was the last match before the Christmas holidays everyone was wearing about five layers under their uniforms which slowed us down quite significantly. Perhaps most importantly, though, was that it reduced my swing and my reaction times plummeted.

We were _slaughtered_. Mostly because half of our team was taken out after I took a bludger to the head. The only thing that saved me was the relatively short fall and soft landing. I was sure I would never complain about snow again after that.

It was then that everything went downhill.

Sirius and Jason Ridges, our Seeker, came down to see if I was alright and both got hit by the same bludger that got me. That left us with only out chasers but when James was driven into the side of the stadium by the Ravenclaw captain we knew it was over. No one could win with two chasers and a keeper.

It was the second most horrifically brutal defeat that I had ever witnessed with the first being the beautiful day that we had steamrolled Slytherin, quite literally, into the ground. That had been the first match me and Sirius had played together and two chasers and their seeker managed to plough themselves into the pitch trying to avoid us.

What was really depressing though, was that none of us would be able to enjoy Christmas as me, James and Sirius were all still in the hospital wing on Christmas Eve.

'This is shit. Shit I tell you. How am I supposed to get Lily's present when I'm stuck in here with you two!'

James was slowly succumbing to cabin fever with the rest of us following closely behind.

'Have you ever heard of Owl Order? Besides, Lily's gone home for the holidays! Just give her it when she comes back on New Year's Eve. You're not the only one who still has to get presents you know! We all missed the last Hogsmead trip and unless you've got your cloak then we're screwed.'

'That's it! Oh Jinx I could kiss you! No need to look like that, I'm not contagious. REMUS!"

Remus had apparently chosen the wrong moment to walk through the door.

'No. I won't do it, I don't care what it is, I just won't do it.'

He tossed a small black box to Sirius before taking a seat in the middle of the room where he could talk to us all without shouting.

'By the way Jinx, what did you do to Peter? He's terrified to come in here.'

'Me? I didn't do anything...'

It was a well known fact that I didn't get on with Peter as well as the other three but I had never knowingly _done_ anything to him.

'Hmn...He's been acting strangely I might...'

James jumped in before Remus could change his mind a leave.

'Listen mate, I need you to get the cloak – I need to get into Hogsmead to get Lily's present.'

'Why didn't you just ask me to get it when I was there this morning? That would have been the logical thing to do.'

'He's disengaged his brain in protest against Ravenclaw...' laughed Sirius '...not that many of us noticed the difference.'

'Well it's not my fault that I didn't know Moony was going!'

'It kind of is mate, the rest of us knew.'

'Well at least I know when someone's slipped me a love potion.'

'Not that you've ever _been_ slipped a love potion.'

'I have actually. Didn't work though...'

'How'd you know?'

'Because I've never loved anyone other than Lily.'

'What if _she _was the one who slipped you a love potion?'

'She wouldn't do that – it's illegal.'

'No, it's immoral, there's a difference.'

'Still...stop making me paranoid!'

'But Prongs...the curtains...they're talking about you.'

I buried my face in my pillow. Merlin get me out of here.

Christmas was a relatively subdued affair – the Marauders and I had the run of the tower after Madame Pomfrey released us late the night before and there were only a handful of other students left in the castle.

The entertainment after Christmas dinner was provided by James and Sirius charming a few suits of armour to re-enact several historical battles in what was perhaps the most inaccurate way possible – I was mostly sure that there were no tea cosies involved in the Battle of Waterloo and I know for certain that Adolf Hitler didn't walk about with a chicken on his head.

But then again, this is what happens when you leave two Purebloods in charge of a Muggle history lesson.

The snowball fight that followed was the most amazing thing I think any of us had ever witnessed.

Us five Gryffindors teamed up with the three remaining Hufflepuffs to defend out Castle-side fort from the Slytherins and Ravenclaws but we were outnumbered by eleven to eight. Well, we were until Professor McGonagall levitated a rather large snowdrift over our enemies, confirming everyone's suspicions that she was, if fact, the most amazing member of staff in the castle.

It was the best Christmas I had ever had.

That night, we could be found in front of the common room fire, half drunk from the Firewhisky that James had brought back from Hogsmead the day before.

'Hey Jinx...can I talk to you?'

I followed Sirius up to the dorm and collapsed onto the bed bedside him.

'S'up'

'What are going to do when this is over?'

'When what's over? The holidays?'

'Nah, Hogwarts...you don't talk about the future much.'

'Yeah...I don't think about it much...leaving Hogwarts scares me shitless. It's my home, y'know? I thought I might try out for the Harpies but I got a job at Zonko's last summer just to be closer to the castle so I'll probably go back to that if I don't make it. Why?'

'Well, I've been thinking and I want you to know that I've been planning this for a while so it's not just the Firewhisky making me say strange things...' He pulled the box that Remus had thrown his yesterday from under the pillows, opening it to reveal a diamond eternity ring. '...So, Jordis, will you marry me?'

I felt the air leave my lungs as the words hit me. Whatever I had been expecting, this hadn't been it.

I closed my hand over his, the box snapping shut.

'Listen to me Sirius, I love you –I wouldn't be here if I didn't but it's only been four months, technically only two...I'm not saying never...I'm just saying not now...we're seventeen Sirius! We've got our whole lives ahead of us...sure, there's a war on but...we have so much time to grow up later – why do it now when we can still get away with being kids?'

I bent over and kissed his knuckles. I don't know why I did it – it just seemed like a good idea.

'I love you, okay? I'm not going anywhere that you aren't...except for Auror training, that shit just isn't for me love...but you know what I mean. Besides! You've never had the _delightful_ experience of meeting my parents!'

My dad I wasn't too worried about – he was a muggle born wizard and he didn't have a mean bone in his body, he was Quidditch _mad_ but, even though I know he would be so proud, I never told him about my six year stint on the house team... something always stopped me. It was my mother that really scared me though; she was a born and raised Catholic lady who had been thrilled that her only daughter had been accepted to an exclusive boarding school.

Until she was told that magic was real and that her daughter was a Witch. Twenty five years of marriage and Dad had never once told her about his own magic, thinking that I would be a squib, like my older brother. When the letter came he sat me down and explained everything to me and told me that he would tell Mum after I had left for school.

She hardly talks to me when I'm home. It's not like we had an amazing relationship to begin with but it was good and for an eleven year old to suddenly lose the love of their mother was a pretty big thing. It's not like she hates me, she just pretends that I've died most of the time.

'You'll forgive me for not wanting you to meet mine...' He laughed '...they're unconsciously paying me a hundred galleons a month; if I show up at the house they might remember to disown me properly. Uh...would asking you to move in with me be too much? It's just...my uncle left me a couple of places but they're all quite big and empty...'

I kissed him gently.

'I'd like that...I'd like that a lot.'

My next letter home was going to be awkward.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hey! Sorry this one was a bit slower that normal but I've been WAY busy doing photography for the Air Cadets because...well...I'm not sure why I do it...I think it has something to do with logic going out of the window when crushes are involved. Yeah, lets blame it on that. Anyway! On with the story...**

Gorgeous Nightmare

9

'_Dad, _

_Sorry I haven't written since Halloween but it's been majorly busy._

_You said over the holidays that you thought I wasn't telling you everything that happened and you were right, there are things that I've been doing that I didn't tell you about because I didn't want to you be excited and then disappointed if it didn't work out but I recently made a choice about my life after school and I think it's safe to tell you. I would ask to meet you next Hogsmead weekend but I doubt you'll get out of the house so here it is:_

_I have been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team since Second Year. Me and Sirius Black are probably the best beaters in the school and James (Our captain – you remember James Potter, right? He ran into me in Diagon Alley a couple of years back) has invited the scout for the Holyhead Harpies along to the final. This isn't some kind of cruel joke – I'm seriously going to see if I can go Pro with Quidditch. _

_And another thing that I might have to let you break to mum – That Sirius Black I mentioned? Well we're talking about moving in together once school is over. Everything else is going good... fell out with Marlene but that was inevitable. Lily, James, Remus and Sirius all say 'Hello' and Lily and Remus would like it noted that they're trying their hardest to make sure I study every night and that it isn't their fault that I spend all of my time flying and pranking but what's really new there?_

_I know she won't pay any attention but say hi to Mum for me?_

_Love, _

_Jordis'_

You can probably tell that I'm useless at talking to my parents. No matter how well I get on with my dad, letters never got any easier. I figured it would be best to spring everything on him at once so that he would only focus on the Quidditch and forget the rest – I couldn't see him taking too kindly to Sirius if I didn't cushion the news of our moving in together with something like trying out for the Harpies.

Whilst I hadn't really been looking forwards to the reply, a letter would have been preferable to what I got.

It was the night of the New Years Party to end all New Years parties.

Lily was back and sporting a pretty emerald necklace that made James smile like a child and brought out a blush on my friend's cheeks that hadn't been seen since we were naïve little first years that caught the head boy and girl in a compromising position.

There was a good supply of Firewhisky in the corner of the common room and the Butterbeer was being kept under Remus' specially modified cooling charm – we weren't about to let the lower years miss out of the fun!

When it happened it was still only about seven in the evening with the party not kicking off until nine. Sirius was spread out over the sofa and I was perched on top of him trying to focus on my Transfiguration notes because McGonagall was sure to test us when we got back. However, I'm sure many people will tell you that it's not easy to study when someone is trying their hardest to get your bra off.

'Sirius. For the last bloody time will you cut it out – there are first years over there.'

'Then put the notes down and give me a hug!'

'McGonagall will gut me and use my intestines as Christmas decorations if I don't get this. It doesn't matter if I'll never want to turn a pig into a walking stick again, she'll kill me if I can't do it!'

There was a whine that echoed his canine side much more than his human side.

'Quite an accurate assumption, Miss Gates, although I assure you that I am perfectly capable of restraining myself to a simple detention or two. For Mr Black's sake though we shall just assume that your more violent predictions are correct.'

I scrambled round to see Professor McGonagall standing in the portrait hole.

'Professor! What are you doing here?'

'You have some visitors Miss Gates. I thought it best to show them to the tower as opposed to my office.'

She stepped to the side and I found my dad standing behind her, bounding on the balls of his feet. I was almost excited until I saw the woman clinging onto his arm.

My mother was near enough my twin – we had the same bright blue eyes and unremarkable but not un-pretty face. Her jet black hair might have been kept in a long pleat down her back but it was the same. One arm was hooked around my father whilst the other gripped a cross so hard that her knuckles had gone white. My hand instinctively reached up toward the small silver cross I wore around my neck – it was so strange to think that we believed in the same God but to her I was a vile servant of the Devil whilst I thought I was just blessed to have a power she didn't.

Sirius pushed himself up, clearing unsettled by the silence, and looked between me and my parents, realisation dawning on his face.

'You want me to go, love?'

I shook my head but moved off of him anyway.

'Oi! You lot!' I yelled at the four first years gathered in the far corner 'Clear off or I'll get James to ban you from the party.'

Missing the only Marauder New Years Bash they would ever get was not an option for the four eleven year olds and they were fast to scurry up to the dorms.

'Mum...Dad... what are you doing here?'

'Your parents told me that they had some concerns and, although you're an adult now and they have no legal power, I thought it prudent that the four of us sit down and talk through these issues.'

Professor McGonagall gestured for my parents to take a seat in the armchairs by the fire whilst she perched beside Sirius and me on the sofa.

Much to everyone's surprise, my mother was the first to speak.

'We are here to talk to Jordis, I demand that this _boy_ leave at once. This should be family only.'

The words were sharp, my name sounded foreign in her mouth and I put out my hand over Sirius' to stop him from leaving. It wasn't that I thought he would but I knew my mother would be watching every tiny move I made. I knew because I was doing the same for her.

'Mum...that's the first time you've said my name since dad told you I was a witch - you don't get to make demands. Sirius is...he's...like it or not he is going to be part of my family one day so if it concerns me then it concerns him. Sorry but that's the way it is.'

She huffed and looked away from me, deciding that the fire couldn't possibly be evil and staring into it intensely.

My dad took over, leaning forwards in his seat and casting my Mum a wary look.

'Listen Jo...your mum's just nervous about being here, that's all. It's about your letter – we're not happy with your career choice. I love...I mean...your mum and I looked it up and professional Quidditch players have notoriously short careers. I you get injured then...'

'Dad, I just got out of the hospital after taking a bludger to the head. I've broken both my arms, most of my ribs, my legs and I even fractured my spine two years ago. Trust me when I say that injuries don't really worry me. Besides, my career would be more likely to be cut short by a Death Eater, not an unfortunate fall.'

'So you're rushing into this because of some silly cult? Jordis...you don't have to go running off into a relationship straight out of high school – these people are just trying to stir up trouble, they won't actually _act_ on their threats.'

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I knew he had all but given up the magical world for my mother with the exception of a few spells here and there to make their life easier but I had assumed that he had at least kept up with current events.

'Dad, they _are_ acting on their threats. People are _dying_ out there. You're forgetting that I know these death eaters – they were at school here just a few years ago! I've fought them already, okay? In fact, Professor McGonagall here will tell you about the bust up when Bellatrix Black graduated – she put twenty students and two teachers in the infirmary before James and Sirius blasted her into the lake! She took the mark when she was _fifteen_. Did you know they've got Fenrir Greyback? He's not a joke! I know people whose lives have been _ruined_ by that monster... if you don't take them seriously then they will _kill_ you. If this is really just about me moving out then you're being ridiculous because I would have left the second I could anyway – I'm going to have a hard enough time being a half blood in this world, I wasn't about to be treating like dirt in my own home as well. I want there to be at least one place I feel I belong and, as it can't be Hogwarts for much longer, then it was always going to be with my friends.'

'Jordis...don't be...'

'No dad! I thought you of all people would understand – look at how much you gave up for mum, you told me yourself that you could have been Minister and you gave that all up because you loved her! Why is it so crazy that I would be willing to give up the same thing to spend what little time I might have with people I love and playing a sport that kept me sane before Sirius here quite honestly saved my life? '

My dad sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. My mother had perked up at the mention of this mysterious Minister's position that he had given up and I knew that she would be asking about it just as soon as we were out of ear shot. I felt betrayed – dad was supposed to be the one who would support me and believe in me and I was more than prepared to twist the knife in further until McGOnagall did it for me.

'Professor, will you_ please_ explain to your student why Quidditch is unrealistic.'

'Mr Gates, if I recall correctly you were quite determined to become a dragon trainer in your seventh year. I also believe that it was only an unfortunate Quidditch accident that not only lost Gryffindor both the Quidditch and House Cups but also left you unable to pass the entry requirements for the Romanian program. It was only after that incident that you came to me asking about a career in the ministry. As it is, your daughter is a powerful witch who had equally if not more powerful friends. She is a capable Quidditch player and she and Mr Black are undoubtedly the best two beaters in the school, if only due to their acute understanding of each other. Were she to pursue a professional career then I think she has every chance of succeeding and, taking the evidence of the last few months especially into account, she would do quite well with almost anything she sets her mind to. Although Merlin help us all if she were ever to turn her hands to Spellcrafting. Madame Pomfrey was _quite_ glad when that phase had passed.'

Ah...yes...the Spellcrafting incident. There was a few months of my sixth year when I thought I might turn my hand to Spellcrafting. It was a short-lived dream that left much of the West Tower in ruins. It could have been fixed in a jiffy but McGonagall decided to instead place a large poster on the wall with a permanent sticking charm.

It was taken from a Pensieve memory and showed me trying out a new spell, designed to conjure a small dragon (Don't ask me why, it was the only thing that came to mind – kind of variation of the _Serpensortia_ spell). It worked at first and a smoky shape floated around the room but after a moment it explodes and blows out most of the tower.

She left it there as a warning to anyone else who decided to go into Spellcrafting without any former knowledge of Arithmecy.

My father had gone a deadly shade of white whilst my mother was shaking with fury. Her sense of social duty wouldn't allow her to blow up at him here but I could see it was coming.

I could honestly have kissed McGonagall right now.

Sirius was being uncharacteristically quiet. He had just sat back and watched the conversation and occasionally squeezing my hand but now he sat forwards and cleared his throat.

'Mr Gates...I don't know if Jordis told you in her letter but...but I actually proposed to her on Christmas. She said it was too fast but that's how serious we are. If it's safety you're worried about then James and Remus think of her like their little sister and when I say that Remus would _kill_ to protect his pa- family, I mean it – trust me when I say that she'll be safer with us that with anyone else. Jordis is right – there's a war going on out there and we're all in danger - her and Lily for being muggleborn; me for being a blood traitor; James for being a Potter and Remus and Peter simply for being our friends. The safest place for us is with each other. Me and James are going into Auror training next year and Lily said something about Healer training. Remus is a genius and I've yet to see them create a spell he can't master. We're all excellent duellers and like she said, we've been at school with these people – Hell, half of them are my cousins! We know their weaknesses and we've beaten them before. If it's something else that you're worried about then...I don't know what to say...'

My father had narrowed his eyes.

'You almost said 'pack'.'

'Dad, just drop it okay?'

'No I will not! Only Werewolves have packs! Why didn't you tell me you were consorting with monsters!'

'Mr Gates if you don't lower your voice I will be forced to ask you to leave.'

'I'm not leaving my daughter around a beast like that!'

Sirius and I were on our feet with our wands drawn before McGonagall could stop us.

'Don't you _dare_ say a word against him. Dad, I love you but...if you say one more word about that boy then I'll kill you myself. It's true what they say about the Marauders being a pack, me and Lily found out about it when we started dating Sirius and James...Moony is my brother now. Both of you get out of her before I do something we all regret.'

Remus was unlucky enough to walk into the room moments after my parents had left and he quickly found himself engulfed by both me and Sirius.

Professor McGonagall nodded as she left and asked that we have all of the first and second years in bed at a reasonable time. She also advised that we don't break out the Firewhisky until later in the evening once most of the other students had given up and gone to bed.

We pretended not to notice the two missing bottles that would most likely find their way to the staff room before the year was out.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: See - to make up for that larger than normal gap I posted two in one day, aren't I wonderful? I'll probably be wrapping this up soon. I've got the very last scene planned out...kind of...but that has been a fun one :)  
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Gorgeous Nightmare

10

After the debacle with my parents, all thoughts of staying as sober as possible flew out of the window and I charmed my name onto five bottles of Firewhisky and even made an emergency, last minute trip to the Three Broomsticks who always had an excellent selection of muggle beers.

The highlight of the evening was supposed to be when the boys launched some of Dr Filibusters' Wet Start Fireworks out of bottles of champagne but it was ultimately trumped by Remus and me sneaking out at three in the morning to hang a piñata on the Whomping Willow. I'm not sure if it counted as animal enrichment as it was, after all, a tree but it would be brilliant fun to watch in the morning.

Although it had to be noted that, once the lower years had gone to bed and we had all gotten more than a bit squiffy, it was a highly educational evening and we learned all sorts of important lessons.

For example; it would appear that, although the Great Hall is a magnificent size, Quidditch is an outdoors sport and is, in fact, impossible when all of the players are disillusioned and with questionable stability due to intoxication.

It is also next to impossible to get James down from the rafters whilst he is disillusioned and everyone is drunk.

Missing steps and moving staircases will also wreak havoc when your sense of direction is whacked and it should be noted that it is highly inappropriate to attempt to snog in every classroom simply because shagging in all of them would take far too long. Ghosts don't like to be disturbed in such a manner and they do get rather prissy about it.

It also transpired that Lily's usually well-hidden whore come out when she was drunk and she and James were found in ten different broom cupboards during the course of the evening. It said a lot about his character that it was James who stopped it every time – Lily was sure to thank him in the morning... if she remembered any of it.

It was a bloody miracle that we made it back to the common room alive, never mind without being caught.

We were still recovering two weeks later when everyone else returned and school started again.

Winter soon faded into Spring with little on note happening apart from Remus coming close to burning down the Library when he discovered that Pater had accidentally eaten all of his Advanced Charms notes.

It was the last day before the Easter holidays when all merry hell broke loose at breakfast.

Sirius and James had been arguing over the last piece of bacon when they both slumped to the floor and started convulsing. Lily was hysterical, people were laughing, thinking that it was just a prank, teachers were bearing down on us and one face could be seen smirking through the masses.

Remus was onto Snape before I had even moved. The usually quiet werewolf was in a rage the life of which I had never seen. I knew about what had happened with Sirius accidentally telling Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack and I wasn't surprised to see the flash of fear in Snape's eyes as Remus tore into him. I didn't even need to move from where I was holding Lily out of Dumbledore's way to hear what was happening.

'_WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT! YOU DON'T GO AROUND JUST FUCKING POISONING PEOPLE YOU SPINELESS LITTLE SHIT! WHAT DID YOU GIVE THEM! HMN? WHAT WAS IT!'_

Snape mumbled something and Remus grabbed his robes, shaking him.

'_BOOMSLANG VENOM! DOYOU KNOW WHAT THAT WILL DO TO SOMEONE!_'

I didn't hear the rest of what he said because I had to help Lily out of the hall behind Dumbledore.

I had always tried my best to lay off Snape because he was Lily's friend. Even after he called her a Mudblood I at least tried to be civil to him but this was unforgivable. Blood was going to spill for this, I knew it.

It turned out that Snape had meant for the poison to kick in some time in the afternoon, it was simple luck that had it take hold right under Dumbledore's nose otherwise the small gathering out by the boathouse two weeks later would have been a funeral.

Thanks to sheer luck, it was a lynch mob.

If can call two people a lynch mob, that is.

Lily hadn't left James' side all day and Sirius was already back in the dorm, he was going to join us later but right now Remus was keeping an eye for teachers and covering my back whilst I stunned Snape and pulled him into the boathouse.

I let Remus bind him (ropes had never been my strong point) before reviving him and landing a solid blow to his face.

'You're just lucky that they're alive. Why can't you just fuck off and leave them alone, hmn? I know they were pricks to you but they've moved on and so should you. If you loved Lily so much then you would be able to see that she's _happy_ with James. I've never seen her so happy so why don't you just stop being a selfish git for once and see that by hurting James, you're hurting her.'

I took his wand and tossed it out of the window, watching as it rolled onto the grass. I wasn't stupid enough to trust him. I vanished the ropes and Remus left in front of me but before I went, I turned back to him.

'And if you ever try to pull a stunt like that again, your precious Dark Lord will be the least of your worries.'

I was in no position to make threats like that but fuck it all because it felt good.

With his wand lost in the grass, me and Remus were free to make our escape without fear of attack.

James was released the next day and he and Sirius were probably _more_ insane than ever. The rest of us suspected that they were overdoing it so as not to let people know that their near death experience actually scared them shitless but nothing we could say would calm them down.

The whole school found their lack of retaliation disturbing until Snape was found hanging in the Entrance Hall by his underwear with a sign reading "_Now this is a prank, honey. Xo, MWPP" _hung around his neck.

I was cornered by James one night in the dorm as I returned from the library. He pushed a small glass bottle into my hands.

'Here, drink this.'

'James, I've been at school with you for seven years and shared your dorm for seven months. I am _not_ about to drink some random potion. What does it do?'

'Animagus potion. We made enough for you and Lily...we though, seeing as you're both practically honorary Marauders now, you might as well find out what form you take.'

'And you didn't think about the possibility of us being something like an elephant or a whale? Y'know...something that wouldn't fit in this room?'

'Not really. Now drink.'

I uncorked the vial and sniffed it warily.

'Is it supposed to smell like wet dog or is that just an unfortunate effect of being stored around Sirius?'

I ducked the pillow that came flying my way.

James sniffed at it.

'Smells like grass to me. You won't be anything too crazy! I bet you're a badger.'

'The fuck do I look like! A Hufflepuff!'

'Fine, a panda.'

'James...what are you even on?'

He shrugged and flopped onto his bed.

'I just think you'll be black and white...that's all. There's nothing wrong with Pandas. What about a penguin.'

I pinched my nose and downed to potion before James could come up with anything more mental. My whole body shivered for a moment and then...

Nothing happened.

'Well? What no- arrrgh'

My world shrunk and my vision flickered.

Every smell hit me all at once and I bounded across the floor into the first hole I could find. Big things...big things out there, can't let them see me...no...Just stay quite under here and they won't...

'Jinx you're so _cute!_'

I crawled further into my hole. Big things can't find me...no, no, no...

I very suddenly shook my head, trying to clear it. Sirius was hanging over the edge of the bed grinning at me.

'It's a bit freaky, eh? Come out...come on – we want to see.'

I rolled my eyes and started to crawl out but when I extended my arm I found a much shorter appendage than I had expected. I certainly couldn't' remember having black fuzzy arms with sharp little claws before.

I shook it off and made my way out only to be lifted rather unceremoniously onto Sirius' lap. I glared up at him until he pointed over to James.

Instead of James I was confronted with a mirror.

Oh, I was quite cute.

Another shiver ran thought my body and I found myself all arms and legs again, sprawled on top of Sirius.

'Okay...so you were half right. A Red Panda isn't far off. Still doesn't explain why that stuff smelled like wet dog. How do you do it again?'

James shrunk the mirror and slipped it back into his trunk.

'That's the difficult part. Now you know what for you take, you should just be able to visualise it and change but it takes a lot of practice. I'd leave it until the weekend – you tend to wind up walking round with a tail for half the day...it gets awkward to explain.'

And God forbid anything should be awkward in this place.

**AN: Oh look! Two authors notes!**

**Don't ask why I chose a red panda...I just think they're cute. It was that or a fox but, whilst that opened me up to SO many shitty jokes**, **I thiought a little red panda just casually plodding about and falling asleep in strange places was more fitting. **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: And so it ends. I thought it was better to leave it here because otherwise I would have to go into the horrible bits where Lily and James die and I'm not sure my heart could stand writing that. I'm awfully useless at writing death scenes anyway and I was in the mood for a happy-ish ending. **

Gorgeous Nightmare

11

Achieving a full transformation after that first time was murder. James had been right when he predicted that I would spend several day walking around with a tail – I couldn't even manages to get rid of it before the weekend was over and had to sit through three exams with a bushy tail. It was a mere blessing that everyone just assumed it was either a prank gone wrong or some strange new fashion statement. These days you could never really tell.

Every year we always complained about 7th years that got bitchy over their NEWTs and every year we told ourselves that they were being overdramatic and that it wasn't that hard.

I would most certainly never be making that mistake again.

I would also never be so foolish as to take Advanced Potions again because that shit was not fun.

The exam lasted the full day and required that we brew three potions at the same time (Ours were Amortentia, Draught of Living Death and Felix Felicis. I was kicking myself for even _bothering_ to revise any of the work we'd done in 7th year.) in a stuffy dungeon with every single other NEWT level potion student whilst the invigilators wandered around, breathing down out necks and asking stupid bloody things like what our opinions on the Chudley Cannons winning the league.

Try accomplishing all of that when you've got a black-tipped, red and while stripy tail that gets caught in every fucking doorway you have the audacity to walk past.

Merlin I _hated_ exams.

Emerging into the dying light was probably the most beautiful thing I will ever experience.

Except perhaps the sight of James running off to talk to a suited official who carried a black briefcase with a red bat superimposed on it.

I grabbed Sirius as he ran past.

'Oi. Has James said anything to you about Scouts at the next match?'

He dusted off his robes and shrugged.

'Apart from the Harpies and they send someone every year...no. Why?'

'There's an official from the Ballycastle Bats over there and the Final is tomorrow.'

'You think they're here for the game? Ooh, the Harpies will be pissed. They usually have the monopoly on the Final. It'd be cool if you signed to the Bats. They are your team after all; I remember you had that poster in fourth year...'

'Yeah, it'd be a dream come true but I couldn't move to bloody Ireland.'

'You'd look hot in that uniform though...ow! No need to get violent, I was only stating a fact. Look he's waving! C'mon...'

I found myself being dragged into the entrance hall, still trying o work the blush off of my face.

James took over from Sirius once we were close enough and pushed me forwards.

'Mr Fenwick, this is Jordis Gates – the beater I owled you about. Just ignore the tail...there was an incident when we were working on our Transfiguration revision.'

That was the official line on my tail.

'Yeah...' I laughed '...James here might be a brilliant chaser but his aim with a wand leaves a lot to be desired. The cushion was a good three feet away from me and I still ended up looking like this.'

'I do hope it won't affect your game Miss Gates, we have heard great things.'

'I'm more hoping that I don't have to play around it. Now that the exams are done with I actually have the time to look into getting rid of it...I think we've all played around worse than a tail though.'

It was hardly a lie – I've seen people finish a game with their hands three times their normal size. Hufflepuff's old seeker was a bloody miracle worker.

We spoke with Mr Fenwick until he had to leave for a meeting with Dumbledore but as soon as he was out of sight I grabbed James for a back-breaking hug.

'James you are the best friend in the world, you hear? How did you even know? Oh my god! James!'

I knew I was getting incoherent but we were talking about a chance to play for the Ballycastle Bats! The team I had supported since first year! Granted...I initially had only started supporting them because I thought the black uniforms with the red bat looked snazzy but how else are you supposed to choose a team? It's not like a band where you can say 'oh, I love this music – I will become your fan!' you kind of have to base sports teams on how cool they look not how good they are – how else do you think the Cannons had so many fans?

'Here, put him down Jinx – I don't think my ego can take it.'

I release James, kissed Sirius on the cheek and ran off to catch up with Lily.

To say that the excitement had worn off by the next morning was an understatement.

The only real reason that abysmal last game hadn't knocked us out of the final was because Ravenclaw were disqualified for half of their team being caught with Felix Felicis on their persons.

This was a chance we shouldn't have gotten but now that we had it we were determined to win the last Quidditch game we would play at Hogwarts. Most of our team was made up of seventh years with only our Keeper and Seeker in fourth and fifth respectively.

Sirius and I usually kept to circling the pitch unless we were really needed; always staying opposite each other to cover the whole pitch but Slytherin were usually inclined to play dirty when it came to the Quidditch Cup so Sirius shadowed Ridges whilst I followed whichever chaser had the Quaffle.

The break came when Dewees, Slytherin's captain and Seeker, grabbed the bat off of one of his Beaters and pelted a bludger towards our unguarded Keeper.

Sirius, who was closest, didn't have time to block it and had to physically pull the poor kid out of the way and onto his broom. That distraction left Ridges as an open target and another Bludger was soon working its way towards him. I broke every promised to James and pulled away from my position tearing across the pitch and barely managing to tap the bludger with the very tip of my bat. It was enough to divert it slightly though and it missed Ridges' head by inches and went veering off towards the crowd.

I shot after it – I would be more than dead if it reached the stands. I never knew why they didn't raise shields around the crowd but it would save me a lot of bloody trouble.

I managed to pull up to the bludger but it swerved and flew under me. I pulled the same stunt that got me on the team in my second year and swung under my broom, flying upside down, and backhanded the bludger across the pitch before having to fly out over the Gryffindor stands and around behind the hoops to right myself. I managed to grab Devon's falling broom out of sheer luck and tossed it to him, letting Sirius return to the game.

I pulled into the centre of the pitch in time to see my bludger by pass the Slytherin beater who was trying to wrestle his bat back off of his captain and knocked their keeper straight through the middle hoop.

Out of nowhere Ridged shot past me towards the ground and that was when we knew it was over. Dewees was still too busy fighting with his beater to have any hope of catching the Snitch.

Ridges pulled out of the dive holding the struggling golden Snitch in his hand.

There was some kind of spontaneous group hug from those of us that were leaving but mid air hugs usually end in disaster so it was brief but appreciated all the same.

Just a few weeks later I found myself staring down the corridor that lead to the stairs to the boathouse. This was it - This was the last time I was ever going to do this. I walked into this castle as a terrified kid with scruffy hair, squint teeth and a horrible, horrible attitude and I was leaving, hand in hand with a ridiculously brilliant guy who, yeah, I might even say was the love of my life and surrounded by some of the best friends I could ever hope to make. I was walking out into a summer training program with the Ballycastle Bats and a nice little detached house in Cambridge. There might be a war going on out there and we might not even survive the next year but, right now, all was well.

_**FIN**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Below are the lyrics to Gorgeous Nightmare, the song that was the inspiration for this story. I don't really think it was overly obvious but it's a fucking sweet song and I strongly suggest you check it out. The video for it was what gave me the idea for the 'Seven Deadly Sins' pranks. This is**_** totally**_** not shameless promotion of a band that I love. What kind of a person do you take me for? **

Gorgeous Nightmare by Escape The Fate

I've got another confession to make  
>So complicated let me try to explain<br>Don't want this feeling to go away  
>So it stays.<p>

Is it the way that you talk  
>That's causing me to freak<br>Is it the way that you laugh  
>That's making my heart beat<br>Is it the way that you kiss  
>It's gotta be the way that you taste<p>

You're such a gorgeous nightmare  
>Old habits never seem to go away<br>You make me feel brand new, Yeah  
>We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life<p>

I feel so alive, I feel so alive!

First impressions are hard to erase  
>Etched in my mind and just won't go away<br>Maybe I'm playing my cards way too safe  
>I've gotta change<p>

Is it the way that you feel against my body  
>Is it the way that you act, so damn naughty<br>Is it the way that you shake  
>When your hips move to the bass<p>

You're such a gorgeous nightmare  
>Old habits never seem to go away<br>You make me feel brand new, Yeah  
>We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life<p>

I feel so alive, I feel so alive...

[Solo]

(I feel so alive)

You're such a gorgeous nightmare  
>Old habits never seem to go away<br>You make me feel brand new, Yeah  
>We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life<p>

You're such a gorgeous nightmare  
>Old habits, Don't go away!<br>You make me feel brand new, Yeah  
>We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life<p>

I feel so alive, I feel so alive,  
>I feel so alive, I feel so alive...<p> 


End file.
